Here I go.... AGAIN...

I had hope I would be under 200 pounds by now, but the reality of my emotional state took precedence. 

I am still 230 pounds. Still above the dreaded 200, still stagnant a month later. 

I have not gained any weight and should celebrate the undeniable truth that I have overcome old patterns that have kept me overweight. 

I did not turn to food to comfort me when my dad died and I did not self destruct when I did not work out every day. I just stood and held my ground! Not going forward, not going backward. I stood in the belief that I am going to lose this weight. I stood in the place that allowed me to grieve in the way I know how. 

Today Biggest Loser starts and I am so thankful! It will be such an inspiration to me. I will put myself on a team and compete with the rest of the contestants. I can already feel the adrenaline pumping. I am thankful for the weekly push I will have to partake in, in order to stay in the game. I am thankful for the excitement it brings, the knowledge that I am not the only one who struggles, and the intensity in which the trainers push! 

I look at the last 3 months as practice or dress rehearsal for the real thing! Even while practicing, I lost 25 pounds, so I am remaining positive and hopeful that the next 3 months will produce even higher numbers of weight loss. 

Start weight - 230 pounds

Goal weight - 140 pounds

Total weight loss - 90 pounds

Here I go.... AGAIN...