Do I have what it takes?

I watch the Winter Olympics in awwww. Take in the massive amount of work and dedication they put into the craft, with the hopes they will come home with a Gold Medal.

Amazing… I can’t imagine the time it takes away from everything else. Could I have done something this intense? Would I have what it takes to go the distance?

That is the question I am faced with now. Do I have what it takes to go the distance to lose weight? Do I really have the determination and dedication to go all the way?

I watched the finale of Biggest Loser. The winner went from a size 20 to a size 2. It was controversial, because she looked so small, almost anorexic. I watched her and marveled at the amount of work it must have taken to get there in six months.

I am on a snail’s pace, slowly losing weight. They say it is the healthiest way to go. But I am not so sure. It is unhealthy to be 80 pounds overweight. It is unhealthy to have high blood pressure. Is it really that unhealthy to lose 80 pounds in 6 months? That would be about 15 pounds a month, that’s it. That is .5 pounds a day. It can be done. But can I?

I keep at it. I go slowly. I want to go faster. I want to shed this flesh suit and let the real me shine. I don’t want to hide my pain in the fat anymore. I want to show my beautiful scares. The ones that have healed and no longer define who I am. I want to show off my confident, healed, content self. The body suit hides the beauty inside. It shadows it.

Do I have what it takes? For many years I did not believe I did. I still struggle with the belief that I could possibly be so disciplined and dedicated at something that involves my own beauty, my own reflection.

I am inspired by people like Lisa James who faithfully works out and bikes competitively. I am amazed by people like Danny Kaea, who not only works out daily for himself, but inspires others to follow him. I wonder at how that dedication came to them.

Do I have what it takes? Why can’t I push over the hump of complete commitment to go the distance? Can I really push my body to the point of breaking? Can I push through the pain and aches to keep moving forward?

I struggled this week. Knee pain kept me from running and the rain kept me inside. I struggled to push my body. I struggled to go the distance. Why?

I want to push faster and harder. I want to go longer and farther….

Do I have what it takes?